At Last

In a previous post I mentioned that 2009 was a going to be a year of action and exposure. I said I knew this.

I say a lot of things sometimes.

Like a lot of people, I am human, and I can easily fall into the trap of making excuses for not taking risks and not getting out of my comfort zone.

Luckily, I try to remind myself everyday, that if that happened, I would truly never grow and become very unhappy.

So with that, I decided to not become most people. I decided to take the risk I have been waiting for quite sometime to take.

I decided to travel abroad. I am going to London and Scotland in May!!!

Traveling abroad is pretty common place for middle class and upper class twenty-somethings now. College age students flood overseas for fun, or for school, frequently now. It is easy, it is possible, and it is an almost expected a rite of passage.

You have backpacked Europe ... OK good ... you're cultured.
Now go get a job!

It is a good thing people are doing this early. Exposure to other ways of life, being in a brand new environment, and becoming curious about seeing new places is something that I feel can only benefit a person and their view towards life (at any age really).

But for me, I never did it.

In college, I always kind of thought about it.

But I was in the confines of a very long term relationship, and that held me back.

Not a good reason, but it's the truth. I held myself back from doing a lot at that point in my life.

Well, to rely completely on the relationship as my excuse isn't completely fair.

Part if of it also had to do with confidence.

At the time I didn't think I was adventurous, or rather, deserving of adventure. I thought I wasn't "that type of person." Other people were people who did this kind of thing, went to other countries and explored.
My friend Michelle for example. She was a free spirit; she lived in London, she went to Australia for a long term stay, she has . Thought I do remember the slight hint of jealousy, I thought I had made my choice and I wasn't ever going to do that.

At the time, I just simply wasn't capable of being that person. I was in a relationship, I was dedicated to school. I defined myself that way and that held me back.

To me, I was just some girl, who wasn't sure what she deserved.

In retrospect, I wish someone slapped me and told me his was absurd. Putting boundaries like that on yourself is stupid, especially at 19, 20, 21 years old.

I would have told myself, of course you are adventurous, of course you deserve to go to new places, and anyone can do these things. Don't let your lack of confidence stop you, and don't let some relationship limit your future possibilities.

But I have always been a late bloomer. So this all took me quite some time.

But a break up happened, and as a result a lot o self reflection took place and a world of possibilities opened.

Once a formative years passed I realized I was an explorer, a traveler, and very free to still create who I was, in fact that was a never ending evolution.

It was exciting. For the first time I began to dream big.

Being Roadie for Roadtrip was instrumental in shaping my perception of myself and what I was capable of. After that trip I knew I HAD to go abroad. I wrote about this in past blogs.

But, then I let circumstances get in my way.

Money, job, money, not enough vacation time, no one to go with, etc ... etc ... blah blah blah.

Last week, I said enough is enough.

A few days ago I booked my plane ticket to London.

I am going alone.

I am taking my first trip abroad at 25 (outside of being in Toronto and some beach with my family in Mexico) years old. And I am happier than ever that I am doing it now.

Had I done it earlier, I don't know if I would have been in the right mind set. Or appreciated it as much as I do now. The fortunate position I am in to be able to do, to see, to explore. I also don't know if I would appreciated it as much as I do now, or would have been emotionally prepared for it at that. I have become a bit rougher in the last two years. I can handle more.

I also now can afford to do this on my own now.

I have no fear of being alone in another country , I have no fear of hostels, I have no fear of meeting new people, and I have no fear of myself.

I am capable and I am ready to expose myself to the world at large.

This is the beginning of something new.

This is another step in my life, growing as a person.

This is one of the most exciting things I have done to date.

It isn't anything extraordinary in a large scope, many people go to Europe all the time.

But in the scope of my life, this is a huge step. I am proud of myself. I am ready to get addicted to travel.

I hope I will forever be curious, and will never make excuses again.

And I hope you stop making excuses, whoever you are. Don't let them, her, him, or yourself stop you.

TO TRAVEL! TO LONDON! TO SCOTLAND!

I will keep you updated.