Obsession #2 : Disneyland

As most anyone who will most likely read this knows, I have a love for Disneyland. My fascination for Disneyland is something that will never die. Try you will. But there is no way you can succeed.

It is something that I have a hard time explaining unless you are willing to contribute at least an hour of your valuable time to a lecture on my love/hate/fascination/obsession with the park.

But for starters:

I have worked at Disneyland.

Twice.

I was a Tour Guide at Disneyland, sharing my "wealth" of knowledge with families who were really just eager to get to the "front of the line" somehow. I entertained individuals who wanted to rival my individual "expertise" on the subjects I discussed on tour. A Mickey Mouse duel of sorts, if you will.

I wrote my B.A. Thesis on Disneyland. I somehow managed to utilize the subject of Dystopian and Utopian literature as a way for me to talk about Disneyland (and its utopian/dystopian aspects) for 119 pages. The paper was only required to be 30. Brevity is obviously not my strength once you get me going.

I got a B on the paper.

I was pretty pissed off about that.

I am an annual pass-holder, I own most Disney animations, I own the 50 year anniversary soundtrack to Disneyland ... which includes the majority of Disneyland's attractions musical atmospheres. This includes my favorite, the soundtrack to the fireworks, which I know all 22 minuets by heart. Oh! And I love nothing more than to de-virginize a Disneyland "virgin." Nothing make me happier than converting a non-believer.

They will worship at the alter of Mickey, Walt, and the Holy Ghost.

Ok, don't take me too seriously on those last few points.

I am not saying any of this to brag.

No, not at all.

I am not that special, there are thousands of us out there.

Closeted, or not so closeted, we are Disney freaks.

Of course there are varying levels of Disney fandom.

For example, I would never associate with a Disneyland fan who trades pins. Pin traders are those who own books and books of pins, that they pay hundreds of dollars for, and then go to Disneyland to trade them with other people ... like poke-man cards for adults. And then they wear them proudly around their neck on a lanyard.

That just isn't my style.

I have always thought of myself as a more "intelligent" Disneyland fan. A fan who is aware of the hypocrisy and ridiculousness that the fabricated fantasy Disney sells to people for day at $79 is.

I like to analyze it as large symbol rather.

An insight on our preference for the safe and clean version of fantasy and exoticness. That anyone can fall for.

So telling, so fascinating, right?

But there is one thing all Disney fans have in common. This I have finally confirmed after a sneaking suspicion it was the truth for a long time.

Disneyland fans LACK THE INABILITY, AT TIMES, TO DEAL WITH REALITY.

We love fantasy.

We are a people prone to live in fantasy worlds, either created through drama in life or within our own heads.

I tend to live in worlds that exist with in my dreams and headspace.

I love storytelling, fantasy, the daydreams I create in my mind a little bit more than the real life I lead. I mean, I love life. I am an optimist, but I REALLY love my day dreams.

I create scenarios in my head that I hope will actualize in my every day life, and I feel extreme disappointment when things don't pan out that way.

I blame some of this on my computer for pulling me away from reality too often, I blame some of it on being a kid of the television era letting fantasy suck me in every night in front of it, and I blame some of it on the movies.

But most of all, I blame it on my personality.

I am a dreamer, an idealist, a creator of story. I like the perfection I can create in my head. Even though I am well aware that this is dangerous, That the imperfections of real life are both necessary, and so much more meaningful, thought provoking, and educational than any unchallenged life. It is necessary.

I know this. I mean, I love "Brave New World," I know what the savage is saying when he says that he would rather suffer he inconveniences of life that live without them.

So why do I turn to Disneyland, to Fantasy all too often?

Am I doomed? Probably.

But at least I won't even notice, I will be too busy day dreaming ... riding Space Mountain ... and eating churros.